Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
