Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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