Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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