Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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