i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize