very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
