you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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