i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
