cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize