i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is the high leading the old right now
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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