..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
