If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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