how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
