By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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