He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
