we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
NoShamevember. You game?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
