Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
