If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
