apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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