dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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