Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
