Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
