I'm really into asian looking animals
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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