there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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