Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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