Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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