i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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