Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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