at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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