I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
