Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
