what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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