...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
