Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
