he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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