I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
