Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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