no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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