it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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