Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
