His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
