Your dad touched me again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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