where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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