I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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