There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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