he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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