Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
