I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
