So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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