The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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