We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
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Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
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i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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