thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
