C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After tacos, we're chasing women.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
