No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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