New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
