Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Help. Why am I so naked?
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