I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
