I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
