Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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