i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize