She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Randomize
